I came up with an idea that I was calling a Distributed Network Novel, and I sometimes think that is how my thinking about certain subjects manifests. I write different articles around a loose notion, that manifest as certain iterations and reflections upon a central subject, and when I look back on the combination of my poetry, fiction, and non-fiction I really do see that there was something emergent in all three disciplines that spoke of a cohesive set of notions and an aesthetic.
Sometimes trying to do new things and to do regular things, you hit walls, and sometimes when it seems others take a while to catch up with you, you mistake that for a failure on your part and you shrink.
My whole writing career feels like it could be explained in watching a snail tentacle reaching out and then recoiling. And I suppose that might be everyone … act and react. Innovate and retaliate.
Do you ever think of yourself as an innovator or something special, or do you believe yourself to be as big a failure as every other artist? Do you believe in yourself intermittently and create works of beauty? Both of these things are true and not true.
I don’t like the whole notion of the bi-polar dynamic, but there is a binary system or a tidal system at play, and this makes a lot of sense to me … withdraw and attack; it’s essential. Turning up and keeping pushing is essential. I work hard, it will pay off, and working hard isn’t the opposite of being inspired. It isn’t. That is a lie. Those who work are not immediately to be considered the uninspired. That is a lie sold to the lazy who want to shortcut everything. Nothing substitutes for hard work.