He switched off Grandad every night, otherwise the old bugger would haunt the hallways. Memory retention wasn’t a problem since the upgrade, but he would swear that the unnecessary language pack had somehow made the old guy even more creepy. Who wanted to hear the asthmatic wheeze of a geriatric muttering under their breath in French and Swahili of all things.

He had heard that they were talking about doing remote and unsolicited updates, and he hated to think what that might mean. The language update snuck in with a bunch of other things that claimed to be framework support, but they would have to be super sneaky to slip anything else through like that.

The next day, after being on for less than half an hour, Grandad started working his jaw. His hands were clenching and unclenching. He looked like he had gone into warm shutdown, but then he was standing over him in bed a couple of hours later.

The papers said there were some glitches in the latest updates, but that was an understatement. He was glad that he started sleeping with a Louisville Slugger under his pillow, because on the third night after the update he woke with Grandad’s hands around his throat, leaning in to bite him. When he struggled Grandad got more insistent, and then his hold on his one wrist got really uncomfortable.

Whoever expects to have to cave the skull in of their robot Grandad?

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